Back when I belonged to a women’s meditation circle I remember being told third hand from one of my lady friends that I was a walk-in. This insight came from a psychic who attended one of our sessions, and apparently she was reading my aura at the same time that she was talking to my friend. I recall that her words were something along the lines of, “… she couldn’t have made it this far if she was still the person who was born into that body.” At the time I thought it was just so much balderdash, and didn’t give it much thought. But that incident has echoed ever since, and I find myself looking back at that moment from time to time.
The reason this otherwise bizarre notion resonated with me had to do with an incident that happened while I was in my late-20s. At that time my life was quite literally falling apart, and dangerously so. Although removed from the turmoil of such a lifestyle, there I was married to an abusive kingpin drug dealer – he conducted business elsewhere while pretending to the rest of the world to be a normal suburban-dwelling business man. I, along with our two children, created the main props in this illusion. Upon threat of death, it seemed I was destined to become some sad drive-by shooting statistic, and I could see no way to get myself or my children out of that situation.
I had just begun a practice of meditation and prayer, and at one perilous point on a particularly tumultuous and horrible day, while in meditation I called out to whomever might be listening – the call was for someone to take over my life, because I so clearly could not move forward, I was done. I even recall that my plea was actually answered when for several eerie moments it seemed that someone besides myself was looking through my eyes, although I was still present, I could definitely feel someone else checking out my situation, looking at my surroundings, evaluating my condition and, yes; peering out my of eyes.
I now understand that was the exact moment when the entity that was born into the body, left this planet, and in her place came, for lack of a better term; a walk-in. Now, before I tell you anything about this walk-in being I need to tell you about the third presence that resides in this body; that presence is what I would call the eternal life-force self. That is who I am today, more fully present at each passing moment. I am the energy, the core being that streamed energy towards this earth with the intention of creating a life, more than 50 years ago. But for some reason not yet completely clear to me, in order to have even the smallest chance of manifesting fully into this lifetime, it was first necessary for me to take on a co-existent life with the entity who was born to be the ‘more forward’ personality in this lifetime. Although the eternal life-force self was not the dominant presence in this body for the first 27 years, it has always been able to manifest moments of clarity for the dominant personality. These moments are rare, but they sparkle with otherworldly wisdom, miraculous events, ‘coincidences’ and moments of inspiration.
And, since the dominant personality was the commanding resident of this body, she had the right to assign it to someone else, upon her choosing. And, to be fair, she was not aware of me at the time, and although I was watching over the happenings of this life, I was not ‘forward’ enough to create a switch at the controls, so to speak. So, from that moment on our walk-in had full reign on the choices, decisions, level of power to manifest, and interactions with family, friends and, of course, the raising of the children. Also, it is important to point out that in order to concretize the switch to walk-in he had to commit to a few things first, such as; agreeing to raise the kids with compassion and integrity, secure a safe future for both the body in question and the children and, to help eliminate and overcome karmic and genetic ties that no longer served any of us. I suspect this latter point has to do with the fact that once the walk-in took over, all three karmic flows remained intertwined, and so if the walk-in intended to work on any of his own karmic stuff, he’d have to deal with whatever karmic stuff not of his own making overlaid that karma. Releasing his own karmic bonds seems to be the primary reason the walk-in was so interested in taking over this lifetime, just to be clear about that.
Rather than getting mired in the details of the 25 years that have followed, suffice it to say that the walk-in did his job well. And it might help to mention that at the moment of the ‘switch’ the walk-in’s personality blended completely with the consciousness of the body, so completely so that he actually forgot who he was or how he got there. His agenda was still there, but not aggressively so, just enough to allow for him to accomplish his own personal goals over time. At the forefront was meeting the terms of the contract which allowed the switch in the first place, and those he dealt with swiftly and with some essence of grace. As a walk-in he had a much greater connection to the nonphysical world, and much greater ability to call up change, to make things happen seemingly miraculously, and to move forward where the original personality could not see, much less manifest a way out.
Fast-forward to 2010-11 and our walk-in entity’s personality begins to surface ever so slightly. Together we begin to remember a far off planet in another solar system where things are very different from here on earth. Snippets of what brought him to the decision to incarnate start to emerge, and fantastic memories of interstellar travel, and fantastical space ships parked behind the earth’s solar star start to flash into our awareness. At the same time, the eternal life-force self is beginning to step forward as well, and now I begin to consider that there is something odd about the relationship that exists between the walk-in and myself, particularly as I truly and profoundly understand that we are not one and the same.
Over the past several years part of my spiritual practice has been to release all karmic, genetic and ego-related bonds that persist to keep me from reaching my full spiritual potential. It is this practice specifically that has brought the walk-in out from behind the curtain, and I was finally able to see him for who and what he really is. I also realized that his mission is complete here, and he was ready to depart, so it did not take much prompting to get him to cast off, back into the cosmic soup of mystery from whence he came.
There is only one inhabitant in this body now, and so many fewer karmic ties to address, but that doesn’t mean that there is any lack of interesting metaphysical adventures ahead. Every day is a new revelation! As a result of the collaborative life experiences shared between the original personality, the walk-in and myself my world has expanded to include aspects of the afterlife, alien lifeforms and one source energy. I do know where the original personality went, and I know that she is fine now, reunited with her soul group once again. As for the walk-in, I’m not sure I know where he went off to, but I do know that it would not take much effort to reconnect with his consciousness – it’s just that I don’t really want to know anything more about that entity, now or in the future. It's taken a very long time to get to this point, and I look forward to manning this life-ship as the solo captain, headed not into the sunset, but into a new life on the horizon filled with undefinable possibilities, and an ever-growing sense of oneness.
Update: To read a background story written by the walk-in (which I had completely forgotten about for some reason ...) follow this link.
After first posting this story, I've had conversations with some of my on-line friends about similar situations in their own lives. These conversations have served to remind me about one missing aspect to this story, and that is how people perceive my soul self presence as an angelic form. Here is an excerpt from those conversation.
My own angelic connection manifests in such a way that acquaintances, friends and practitioners have seen it firsthand, where I have been oblivious to it. Where psychics, mediums and holistic body workers have made mention of such a presence in my energy field, the most telling experience happened when I was taking care of an elderly lady and was called to her home when she fell (I was the first person called by her ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up’ button). She was laying on the kitchen floor when I arrived, her hip was broken in the fall, so I called 911 and waited by her side. At that time of my life I was (and still am) an avid meditator and was very connected to my higher-self energy. As I waited I tried to put myself into a healing flow and set my hands lightly on her body as a way to relieve suffering, I knew she was in pain.
Finally the ambulance arrived with four big burly no-nonsense guys carrying a gurney. They beat on the door, and I shouted to them to come in – the door was probably 10-12 feet away from me though directly in my line of sight. They opened the door … and they paused, and they paused some more — when I looked up again there were these four big guys just standing in the threshold of the door with their mouths open, and I couldn’t understand why they didn’t just come on in. It was weird. I learned later that the reason they didn’t just barge right in was because they (and I quote), ‘… thought they saw an angel standing in the kitchen …’ and they were so shocked by what they were seeing that they didn’t know how to react. (I didn’t get this information until some months later when it was relayed back to me from the daughter of the elderly lady I was caring for.
Apparently they were a little embarrassed to admit what they’d seen.)I have some strong ideas about my own angelic connection, and I tend to keep away from categorizing that connection. I think humans in general have trouble understanding what angelic energy really is and they tend to fall back on the dogmatic teachings which lack truth, but resonate with firsthand experience. I believe it’s more about being connected to your true core self, less to do with wings and glitter.